The title may make you think that you're going to read about some drinking binge I've been on but if you know me well, you know I don't do shots. Nope, this is a precious memory, one that was brought up when I knocked over a shot glass this morning.
Our family finished a grief support group a couple of weeks ago. One of the things that the counselor said was that many people think of grief as a roller-coaster with ups and downs but she thinks of it as a wave at the beach. You’re out there playing in the ocean and this wave comes and knocks you over and you’re twirling around and around under the water wondering if you’ll ever come up. Once you come back to the surface, you might get knocked down again and again.
That’s what this has mostly been like for me. After the first couple of weeks were I spent the majority of time being sad, I've moved into a new phase of being OK most of the time, not so overwhelmed all the time. That wave comes and knocks me down at least once a day but after a while of wondering if I'm going to ever get air again, I reach the surface.
Today I was in the process of cleaning and needed to take some medicine for an ache I had and when I got the bottle out I got sad and had that recurring thought, “why aren't you here Beth?”. THEN I knocked over a shot glass. And the memories came.
I collect shot glasses. A few months ago I had thought about getting rid of them. I wasn't getting any new ones and they are sitting on a bar, collecting dust, not displayed. I’m so glad I didn't get rid of them when I thought of it. For once, procrastination and my inability to get my clutter under control worked in my favor.
Beth started my shot glass collection. I’m not sure why, probably because she was a child and wanted to get me a souvenir and they are pretty cheap. I’m not sure how old she was but it was on one of her many trips with the youth/Bible competition team to another state. They went to Ohio and she brought me back an Ohio shot glass. It’s a pretty cool little glass, blue at the bottom and it fades into purple at the top. I've kept it all these years and she has added to my collection and so have I.
In all I have six shot glasses that she gave me from various trips. One of them is in question cause I can’t remember for sure if it came from her or my mom but I’m pretty sure it’s from Beth.
So it all started with Ohio. Then we have The Great Smokey Mountains. I’m not sure when she visited there (her honeymoon maybe, I can’t remember where she honeymooned but it was in the mountains somewhere). There’s Maine. She vacationed there with Kieran and her in-laws. There’s Key West. She really loved Key West. There’s Mahahual, Mexico. She visited there on a cruise. And there’s a Fantasy cruise ship one. She took many other trips but I didn't get a shot glass for those trips.
Beth loved to travel and she was excellent at planning trips!