Monday, February 14, 2011

Holding My Tongue

This only happens every once in a while now that I'm older, wiser, and better able to hold my tongue but I swear I'm having a VERY hard time today not going off on a couple of Officer/Senior NCO's in our Brigade. GRRR....

There are quite a few people that I want to get right in their face like a Drill SGT would and yell at them to do their own f'ing job! Oh and then there are the people that REALLY need to learn how to do their jobs before you send a soldier round and round just to end up back at the same spot. Someone want to tell me why my husband knows a MSG's (Master Sergeant) job better than the MSG knows his job???

Yeah, it's a good thing that we don't really celebrate Valentines Day around our house cause I'd be sorely disappointed if we did cause he's in NO mood to be doing anything lovey...

So now I have a dilemma :( I am supposed to go do a Bible study with my friends tonight. I was planning on taking one kid (the littlest) and letting the hubs and other kids fend for themselves for dinner. Well now I'm feeling conflicted. Should I still do that or should I stay home and tend to my husband and maybe help ease his evening a little. If you know my husband you'd know that he likes his computer time so he would be happy with that but he will NOT be happy with the other two children in his ear asking whats for dinner... blah blah blah. I could take the middle girl with us but that would get in the way of our Bible study. Hmmm... decisions, decisions.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Frugal Decorating

We have this LONG wall in the living room that has been devoid of any decoration for far too long. I decided that since we were having people over for Breanna's party it was the perfect time to get some stuff up on it BUT I wanted to do it frugally. So... I got creative ;), no small feat for me. lol

I ordered some unstretched canvases a couple of months ago with the intention of doing the stretching myself (cause it would be cheaper) and I just haven't had much opportunity to look for the supplies. I went to Michael's this past week and they didn't have it there so I decided to just frame them. So, I went to JoAnn's to get some frames cause they had some on sale. I ended up just getting cheap ones but they look ok... :)

These were taken by me on a hike last summer.

Here's where my creativity comes in. I needed something above the TV, some artwork or something! Most of my living room is decorated with photos and that's fine because I LOVE my family photos but, I wanted something different. When I was at JoAnn's they had frames marked down. Just the actual frame part, no backing and no glass. It was only $8 and it is very close to the width of my 46" TV. I found some fabric that I liked and Tim and I stapled the fabric to the back of the frame. Here's the finished product. I'm very happy with it :)

The frame was $8 and the fabric was a little over $5

Then we took a frame that I purchased around Christmas that we hadn't used yet and put some pictures in and hung it up (no photos of that one). But it's one of those collage frames. :)

Also, I spray painted some of those storage cubes that have just the two cubes. I picked them up at a garage sale last summer for around $3. They are now black and serve as our end tables. :)

I LOVE the finished look of it all. It just works for me :)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Childhood Mistakes

I want to write, for two days now I've really wanted to come here and write but every time I do, the words don't come or they come but they reveal too much. This won't make much sense to most but there are things happening in my family right now that have created conflicting emotions within me and I just don't know which way up and which way is down.

As a parent I want nothing more than to help my daughter who is having such a hard time right now. I really want to help her learn the right way and help her to choose the right path in life. I see her going down a very hard road and I just want to help her stop and change course.

I have very conflicting emotions though. While I want to help her it's also so very hard because my emotions are all over the place with this situation that she has created our lives. I have a sense of betrayal, betrayal like I've never felt before. I feel violated. I know first hand how difficult it is to get over a betrayal of this magnitude and I know that it is beyond my ability but I am having such a hard time turning it over to Him.

Honestly I catch myself crying at odd times and have to leave the room. I can't concentrate. I'm in a bad place and I know it. I need to pull myself out of this place because I know where it leads and I don't want to do that to myself or my family.

What will I do? I will do what a good parent does and I will put my feelings aside and concentrate on my daughter. I will do whatever is necessary to help her get over these issues she is having. I'm just not sure right now what needs to happen to help her in the best way. I'll be calling our Pastor soon but other than that I'm just grasping at straws here.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Last night was a really wonderful night in our home. I don't know if it's because we are keenly aware of what is coming up or just that we happened to all be in  a really good mood but I am happy! lol

The older girls got it started by singing some old songs (think CCR) and then Tim put on some music which got Breanna dancing which then got the other girls dancing. I was too busy laughing for most of it to even think about capturing it on film but towards the end I did get some great photos! Breanna and Tim ended the dance party out with a slow jam and a slow dance to match.

Look at that smile!!!

What a special moment in her life. I'm so thankful that we were able to spend that time together as our day is quickly approaching. The kids ended the night with all of them (minus Breanna) playing video games. A fun time was had by all!

Then today Breanna took her first Communion at church. Many will think this is bad because she is only a five year old and can't possibly understand what it means. However, my daughter LOVES God with all her heart! She loves Him more than anyone else and she talks of pleasing him all the time. She knows His love for her. We took it as a perfect time for Daddy to explain what it means which really gave us the opportunity to talk to her about Jesus dying for our sins. Of course in terms a five year old can understand. I think it went well and I of course, was in tears! Planting those seeds EVERYDAY!!!

In my small portion of the world we had some men and women leave their families this past week. Many left for training that really begins the deployment process for the families and then others left for their actual deployments. There is a lot of sadness around here right now and I hope that you will keep us all in your prayers, not only the soldier serving in a far off country but also the families left behind. 

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Crisis of Teens

Welcome, thanks for stopping by. Feel free to have a look around and follow me if you like what you see. 

What to write today? My life has been absorbed dealing with teenage drama/trauma/disobedience. Thirteen... that's a rough time. Not a child but  no where close to grown up yet you live in a society that pushes adulthood on your innocent not ready for it brain and body. We've had to take a hard line with this one. All trust has been lost and as a result all privileges have been striped away. This one is going to have to learn the hard way that you have to have a set of values and integrity if you are to make it in this world. She is still so innocent and I refuse to allow that innocence to be stripped away from her because of the values of the world!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Hardest Money I Ever Spent

It costs an arm and a leg to travel from Alaska and while I've never had a hard time spending money before, this $3500 was the most difficult purchase ever! It wasn't the money or the act of spending it, it was the thought of spending it on a single purchase. A purchase of TRAVEL and the fact that Alaska is one of the most expensive states to travel to/from. A plane ride to Seattle costs just a couple hundred less than a plane ride all the way across the country.

Oh and of course you can't forget the what-ifs that entered into my mind that made it difficult to push the purchase button. What if things change and our leave gets revoked for some reason, this is the Army we're talking about here. They can change whatever they want, whenever they want to.  We'll be out that money! That's VERY scary for me. We don't just have that money lying around and this is a much needed vacation. Tim and Tasha haven't been home in almost three years and the rest of us haven't been home in over 18 months.

We NEED this vacation and if something happens to make it not happen, I might just lose my mind for good! I hope you will keep us in  your prayers for the next couple of months at least :)

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Happy 16th Anniversary to Me!!!

I am truly blessed to be married to the perfect man for me! I give him a hard time most every day of the week but he is my one and only love on this earth! I was sitting and admiring him the other day from afar and couldn't help but think of my luck. How many women can say that after 16 years of marriage, a couple of children later, and 100 extra pounds that their husbands still find them just as desirable as the day they married? Tim is so affirming to me! Even though I am carrying quite a bit of extra weight he has never once made me feel self conscious about it and to me that is HUGE!

Is my husband perfect? NOOOO and I'm so glad he's not :) He doesn't expect perfection out of me either. He doesn't complain when he comes home and the house is messy. He has never expected me to have dinner ready at a certain time. He may have his shortfalls but he is PERFECT for ME!

Sometimes it's very difficult to see how God gave me the perfect man... when he's spent hours on the computer, or when he makes me repeat myself a thousand times and still can't remember what I told him, or when he just flat out tunes me out (just to give a few examples, lol) it gets mighty hard to remember that we are perfect for each other. Then he does something wonderful and all is right with the world again and God shows me that He gave me Tim as a wonderful compliment to my personality. I just hope that I am just as wonderful a compliment to him!

Happy 16th Anniversary Tim!!! I love you more today than I ever dreamed was possible when we first got married.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

One of the happiest days of my life.

I can't believe it! Five years ago today I was admitted to the hospital for "observation". Breanna seemed to be having some issues and they wanted to monitor her and be ready to take her if needed. I can't even describe the flood of emotions that rushed through me when my doctor told me to head over to the hospital, they were expecting me. She was early, by five weeks, and I KNEW this was going to be it. I could barely contain my tears as we left the office. It felt as if I had let her down.

Before the nurse could even start the IV they came in and said they were moving me to a L&D suite cause this was it. They were going to induce. The doctor had a chance to actually look at the latest ultrasound (she sent me over for observation based on the ultrasound tech's suggestion). Seems Breanna was doing a little worse off than she originally thought. I get in the L&D suite and I'm given the gel that's supposed to start the process, given my IV, and hooked up to a monitor.

It was the season premiere of Survivor and I was ticked cause I was having to watch it from a hospital bed. My doctor was monitoring my condition on her computer at home while watching survivor :(.... Then the nurse comes back in and says she called and they need to get my signatures and get me prepped for surgery. Breanna's heart rate kept dropping with every little contraction and she needed to come out now.

So, I didn't even get to watch Survivor. My doctor was/is/and always will be WONDERFUL! I LOVE HER with all my heart and she will forever remain my favorite. I also love our ultrasound tech. She saw me and my family many, many times over the course of my pregnancy because it was complicated. I love our nurse, she was wonderful as well! The whole staff was actually really great!!! I NEVER once had a complaint with any of them!!! So, if you are ever in the Savannah area and you are in need of a OB/GYN you simply must go to OB/GYN Associates of Savannah, Elizabeth McIntosh. I'm really NOT kidding! I love them so much that I am going to see if they have any appointments available when we go home for our visit to do a gender determination ultrasound on Tasha.

Ok, back to the story. Dr. McIntosh held my hands while they did the spinal block on me and then got me situated and started the surgery. She and her assistant talked about Survivor while they did the surgery :), much to my chagrin... I was not too happy that she got to see it and I did not. lol

Everything went well. Breanna was taken to the NICU where she spent the next three weeks. She was healthy but she had a hard time eating at first. It took her awhile to eat as much as they wanted her to and to gain the weight she needed. She had a feeding tube through her nose for the first two weeks. They hospital was wonderful (except for one nurse) and although they had to boost my breast milk with a little extra calories they always used my expressed milk for her feedings.

It turns out that we were very close to losing her that day and I thank God for giving Dr. McIntosh the ability, foresight, whatever you want to call it, cause her actions saved my little girl!

Oh and it should also be noted that I missed a concert as well! My mom got me tickets to see Gretchen Wilson and well, you can't really go to a concert just a day after you deliver a baby by C-section. Tasha got to go with my mom in my place :). 

Happy Birthday Breanna! You are and forever will be my little princess, no matter what you make me miss!

It Finally Dropped!

I have one of those fancy body composition scales and I have a tendency to hop on that thing every morning. The last week has been different though. It has been about four days since I last stepped on it so this morning my curiosity got the better of me. I got undressed and stepped on. My weight hadn't changed but my body fat had!

I have had such a hard time getting it to go below a certain number... Oh what the heck, you might as well know. According to my scale I'm over 50% fat... Not any more! Woo hoo! I dropped to 49.6%! This is huge for me and I'm soooo excited. See I don't have a weight goal. I want to be fit and since muscle weighs more than fat its highly possible that I could be heavier than I think I should be. So my goal is a body fat percentage alone.

A step closer to my goal! Praise God!!
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