Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Discovery

I seem to be discovering new things about myself a lot lately. That's not a bad thing but it kind of stinks that some of the stuff I'm learning is bad. Just tonight I was reading a book, a book about marriage, my favorite kind, and God used that opportunity to show me that I am judgmental.

Now I know that you're thinking yeah, right. You're a 35 year old woman with a grown daughter and you expect us to believe that you JUST realized that you are judgmental. I really do!

I've always been judgmental toward my family, that's no secret. My Mom and my husband bear the brunt of that judgment. As I said the book I was reading is about marriage and so it was speaking of being judgmental toward your spouse but God decided to show me that I am much more judgmental in other areas of my life than I realized.



We women have the ability to size people up in seconds! That is great because it helps us deal more effectively with people. However, it's bad as well because if our skill isn't used properly you end up with someone like me. There is one person in my life right now who I did this to. I met this person and decided that I did not like the way they came across and many interactions later I still hold that believe. Now I don't think I'm wrong in my feelings, it has been proven time and time again that this person is exactly as I originally thought they were.

However, I don't know this person's heart. I don't know why they act the way they act or do the things they do and while some may say that doesn't matter, that nothing someone is going through should make it OK for them to behave badly, I don't agree with that. I believe that motives have a lot to do with the actions of another person. I can look at someones actions and believe they are behaving in a certain manner just because they don't like me, or they are out to get me, or maybe it's something much simpler.... Maybe they are just having a bad day or maybe they even have a bad life. Maybe they need a friend and just reaching out and asking if they are OK would make them feel better and in turn would help them act better.

I believe that I will stop thinking the worst and just put it in God's hands and ask Him how I should respond.... If you know me, you'll totally understand that I need lots and lots of prayer right about now!