I've been really trying to *fix* myself lately, or rather I have prayed and I believe God is working to fix me. He's really prompting me to get out of my comfort zone and make some profound changes. I suppose this has been an ongoing process my whole life and I'm finally at a point where I am ready to accept his helping hand in my life.
A couple of weeks ago I posted a long note on my Facebook page where I basically cried out to my friends and family. I really need a more authentic life.... I am seriously lacking in the friend department because I have refused to be real with people for the last few years. However, this is all changing.
I've been reading a book called Captivating (see the link in my sidebar to view the book) and God is really using this book to bring some traumatic stuff from my childhood to the surface so that I can let it go. At first I thought I was going to really have to dig into all the drama but I'm finding that he's allowing me to remember it and then he's lifting it right off my shoulders! I feel lighter than I have in years, happier and calmer.
Amazingly enough (and I just realized this while typing this out) he's given me just what I asked for, an authentic life! I've met a wonderful new friend, Barb @ The Forever Neighbor,and for the first time in a very long time I was able to really pour my heart out without fear of rejection. I totally believe that God put her in my life, I'll tell you more about that later but I have a point I'm making with this. An opportunity presented itself for me to step up and volunteer to be our FRG leader (that's a Family Readiness Group - my husband is in the Army). In order to be effective at this I'm going to have to be more authentic in my relationships with the other spouses and soldiers. I asked for more authentic relationships and He has answered in a very huge way. Thank you Lord!
I hope you'll add me to your prayer lists because I know I need it. I have taken on a huge responsibility and while I know that though Him all things are possible, I still hope you will prayer that I stay out of his way.
The Broken One
1 year ago